A Chaos and Coffee
Deep Dive:
My coffee today is black, bitter, and lukewarm—kind of like the conversation I’ve been having with myself all morning.
In the clinic, the logic is simple: Safety first. When a child engages in self-injurious behavior (SIB), we don't argue with the behavior while it’s happening. We protect the brain. We use the helmet. We implement the antecedent strategies—the sensory breaks, the scheduled transitions, the "peace before the storm." But when the storm hits? You put on the gear and you wait it out. You keep them safe.
But at home, the helmet isn't just a medical tool. It’s a lightning rod.
My husband looks at that helmet and sees a white flag. He sees a label he isn't ready to accept. He thinks if we just "parent harder" or "discipline better," our son will stop hitting his head against the floor. He thinks it’s a choice.
And so, I live in a constant state of high-alert. My ears are always tuned to the sound of a thud. I am a clinician who knows exactly what to do, but I am a wife who is being told I’m not allowed to do it.
The chaos isn't just the meltdown. The chaos is the fear that while I'm trying to protect my son's head, the bridge between my husband and me is collapsing. I’m at a crossroads: Do I follow the "rules" of a husband who is in denial, or do I follow the science that keeps my son from permanent injury?
I’m choosing the science. I’m choosing the safety. Because I can fix a cold cup of coffee, and maybe I can eventually fix a strained marriage—but I can't fix a brain injury that could have been prevented.
So I decided carefully monitor my boy and start taking ABC Data then I can work out a better antecedent strategies and try to include my husband In my discussions about self injurious behavior being so dangerous and what can happen over time then let him come to his conclusion with a little more data and understanding then we can hopefully find common ground because neither one of us wants anything bad to happen to our son on that we do agree—- it may be the only thing we agree about but that’s a start
0 Comments